Ford Consulting Limited

I had thought the best route to self employment in NZ would be to get employment, build up networks and in a year or two go self employed. Being nearly Christmas and summer coming up it's seems to be a bit of a double whammy on the eagerness of firms to take on new staff. I actually think it will be easier, if a little hit and miss, to build up a business self employed. Generous employment conditions means that's hard to get shot of someone once you take them on, so most the firms I have talked to about contracting seem very keen as a way to outsource their immediate resource issues.

I've had a bit of work taking off brickwork, which has been nice. It is literally a veneer here, what you see is what you get. There is no unfaced brickwork behind rooflines, skins are held up by steel beams.

I'm also gratefull to Hays that put me in contact with Naylor Love, a contracting company in Chch, see http://www.naylorlove.co.nz/index2.htm. If you do look at the website you'll see one of the founding fathers was Hugh Naylor, which in my book is up there almost as far as Biggus Dickus for pythonesque humour (fnarr, fnarr and fnarr Mr Saunders). I'm pricing up variations on a final account for a speculative apartment development prior to a commercial meeting next week. It's exactly the same as I'd been doing for my friend Tony at Award Consulting Limited, cheers mate, good mentoring!

I'm in the process of setting up Ford Consulting Limited, if you can guess what inspired the name have a little dance!

BTW Rawlinson's New Zealand Construction Handbook is the equivalent of Spon's, quantity surveying fans!

I've also got a meeting next week with another large contractor C Lund & Son for a contract after I finish with NL. Cool and the Gang.

Topsy-Turveyland

Topsy-Turveyland is a funny sort of place. Everything about it is either upside down, or inside out, or back to front - topsy turvey in fact. It was all very extraordinary!

To give you some idea how topsy turvey Topsy-Turveyland is, you ought to see some of their shops. For example, Rodd & Gunn don't sell either rods or guns, it's a menswear shop.

And Just Jeans don't sell just jeans, they sell t-shirts and other tatt as well.

All very extraordinary!

Magpie Madness

Saturday 19 November; Magpie Madness motorcycle rally in Winchester (25k's north of Timaru, about 150k's south of Chch).

Up early after an evening of moderate abstinence.

Gone by just 9 am and follow SH1 to Yaldhurst. At the pub there's already a pack of 8 motorcycles, and within 5 minutes the last machine arrives. Briefest of introductions follow, we're all a bit keen to get on the road.

What I quite like about www.kiwibiker.co.nz is that the forum is open to all riders from scooters through dirt bikes, sports bikes, even cruisers. So the group that left were quite an eclectic mix, and not what you'd normally get in a group ride in the UK.

We left as we'd parked, so I was the penultimate bike. The guy in front of me was on some enduro type thing, and after a few minutes he got something out of his pocket and was moving his hand to the side, up above, all over the place. What the diddley is he doing, I thought? Realised he had a little camera and had perfected the art of blind aiming and not dropping his camera at 100k's! Well why didn't you say, so I was up his zorst in no time for the pose shot. Don't know if it came out though, no posted shots yet.

I have to say that a ride through the Canterbury plains is not that exciting. It's pretty flat and straight with the briefest of twisty sections. Certainly not up the Leader valley that I'd done before, nor up to the coast road to Kaikoura (Leader valley to KK), or the road to Akaroa that I've already done in the cage. However, look around and the scenery is spectacular, its just that you're not riding through the best bits and you want to be there!

Stopped at Geraldine for juice, drink and food. The main reason for the trip was the MMMR (see http://www.ttag.org.nz/html/rally.html). It was an overnighter, camping with entertainment laid on. I'd already promised Alex that I'd fix his broken brake cable on his pushbike, so I wasn't going to stay. So after Geraldine when we hit SH1 I peeled left back up to Chch while the others went off on their weekend.

Coming out of Ashburton there was a HOG rider pushing his bike round the junction, so I stopped to offer a sympathetic ear. His Harley had lost power on the turn and he thought it was electrical. Being a complete numpty in automotive electrics I was there for moral support and a ride into town if he couldn't fashion a earth connection out of some no. 8 fence wire. So we talked shite for 10 minutes while he stripped cables and undid things, and then someone walked out of their house to see if we were ok, did we need any tools or materials etc. Sensing my handhold on usefullness evaporate I bid the HOG rider a fond farewell and roared off north.

Back to Kaiapoi for 3pm. Plently of time to rectify my previous ineptitude and impress Alex with my ability to change a push bike cable. Except Alex isn't there. Neither is Vanessa. To make matters worse I hadn't taken a key with me. Do'h. They were half an hour away, so I went out for another short ride and discovered that some of the more rural roads actually go nowhere. Back in half an hour, still no doorman. Luckily it's still cardboard city outside our house as Crown hadn't picked up our old packing crates. So I settle in for a little snooze and eventually the family arrives.

All of us venture into town to pick up bbq food and for me and Alex to get a bike cable. Except this is New Zealand and all bar the supermarket shut at 4pm. The bike shop is shut. Damn.

Load on those calories!

One of the most popular appearances at children's parties New Zealand wide is Lolly Cake. It is absolutely loaded with sugar and guaranteed to get them running round for hours. Every bakers, cafe and supermarket worth it's salt sells it but, for your enjoyment, here's the recipe for you to try at home.

Make your own Lolly Cake - Yum!

120 gms butter
250 gms malt biscuit brumbs
180 gms Fruit Puffs - Confectionery (cut into pieces)
1/2 tin Condensed Milk
Coconut - for coating

Method:
Warm the butter and the condensed milk in microwave (30 seconds at a time) or in a pot on the stove. Add the biscuit crumbs and fruit puffs. Stir the mixture well. Then form the mixture into a log or small balls and roll in the coconut or press it into a tin sprinkle with coconut.
Put it into the fridge to set.

The fruit puffs they use are the same as those pink shrimp sweets you used to be able to buy for a penny. Enjoy!!! (don't blame me if you put on weight with this one - you have been warned!!)

Some work

WC Monday 14 November. Shaun had passed my details onto the brick and block firm he is working for, so had my first spot of work taking off quants for brickwork tenders. Not a lot to do, but may be more long term and has sowed the seed that maybe without networks some cold calling and hard work may provide a route to self employment. There is a lot of work on hold till after the Xmas/summer hols and so permanent postions are hard to come by.

Bought a load of shelving and have mostly sorted out my office, desktop is out and running, can get internet radio running thru the Denon so Rob Da Bank (WHO...the Peel fans will know) sounds great!

Thursday meet an accountant in Kaiapoi for advice on setting up a company. It seems as simple as the UK, but need to ponder.

Friday I have an interview, well more a meeting, with Naylor Love who are quite a large contractor here, for a few weeks contracting work helping them out with with some final accounts. In the back of the net.

Our first BBQ

Sunday 13 November. We'd invested in a new BBQ. $350 from The Warehouse (where everybidy gets a bargain), that's about £140 in old money. Its a wooden framed one like our old one (hope it's getting good use Nicky) except is a 4 burner, not 3, and it has a hood. Also they don't seem to go in for lava rocks much here, you do see them but nothing, a louvred diffuser or ceramic blocks are more common. We have ceramic blocks.

Our friends Sally, Shaun and their two kids came for tea (hadn't introduced them before, we met them at the first motel we stayed at on our 2nd day in NZ, they'd recently arrived from Norfolk. Shaun is a bricklayer, and also into the lifestyle block thing. They've bought a section (plot to you and me, a plot to NZer's is a grave) towards Oxford and are currently renting a 12 acre section in Rangiora, the next town).

Anyway, despite being really hot yesterday the skies open. I tried to do the Pom thing and was out there with a brolly, but when it rains it really rains (the road gutters are a foot deep) and it was a losing battle so the BBQ was moved into the garage and we finished cooking there.

Stockcars & fireworks

Modified shakes a leg

Sorry mate, I didn't see you

Bang, wheeeeeeeee

Boom, boom

Fizzle, fizzle, fizzle

Whissshhhhhhhhhhhhh

Crackle, cracle, crackle

Pissshhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ZZZZzzzZZZZzzzzZZZzzzz

Fizzzzzzztttttt, fizzztttttttttt

(Onamatopeic descriptions courtesy of Shannon)

Our second outing to Woodford Glenn. Ha ha, we know the score now. Dressed in utilitarian but warm clothing, and armed with camp chairs and a flask of coffee and one of hot chocolate we head out for the 3rd meet of the season. The place is packed, evidently the prospect of $15,000 of fireworks draws in all sorts, not just ardent race fans that have been to most meetings this season, like us, I bet this is thier one and only visit!

We manage to grab a space on turn 3 and settle down for an evening's fun, and we're not disappointed. As well as the fireworks which were AWESOME (as they like to say here) the meeting had a higher carnage factor than last time and there were quite a few smashes, smoke and fire.

The evening ends gone 11pm and we all head home tired but having had a good night out.

Rego'd, cert'd, WoF'd and on the road.

Friday 11 November; ride to Vehicle Inspectorate New Zealand. It was great riding my bike again, although it felt a bit wierd as I was aware I was riding a UK registered bike through all the Kiwi traffic...could almost feel the stares on my number plate.

VINZ is at the southern end of Chch city, so about 30 minute ride though traffic. Dropped it off, brief chat with the bloke about emails I'd had before about compliance testing, and walk into the city to browse and have some lunch. 2 hours later its all done, no drama's so I guess the advance work was worth it. There's all sorts of funny stuff you need to display and I wasn't about to try and stick it on in their yard so back home still with UK plate on.

The registration plate's are made from pressed aluminium, and are a different shape. Then there's a licence you have to display (which is like a tax disc) and also a Warrent of Fitness (or WoF, like a mot but displayed on the vehicle and is 6 monthly for vehicles over 3 yrs old).

Saturday 12 November. Morning spent sorting out shelving in the garage, but the afternoon was lovely weather, chores done, so out for a 3 hour/150 mile ride up the coastal Stae Highway 1, turn inland towards the Alps onto State Highway 7 , and then look back to SH1 though the Leader Valley which is a very quiet, twisty and picturesque road. Didn't take a camera so no picks.

We've got stuff!!

Monday 7 November; container arrives. Living out of suitcases for 8 weeks plus the odd thing you buy along the way you forget about the possessions you have. It took the guys 3 days to fit our stuff in the container, and 3 hours to get it off again . Boxes everywhere (again, same sh!t different continent). They assemble beds and put main pices of furniture into place but the bulk of it we have to unpack.

MAF lady arrives and I jemmy open the crate containing my bike. I must have done a good job cleaning it ( twice, I had taken it out for a last run to marshall on the Killspills Rally) as my bike is 'perfect'.

http://darrenbourne.co.uk/killspills

Ameri-car-na

Sunday 6 November; Waikuku beach hosted The American & Muscle Car Show. Over 300 vehicles of classic americana from rodded Model T's, Cadillac's, Chevy's , Corvette's through to Dodge Charger's and Ford Mustang's etc. Wow, a good morning sent admiring some fantastic motors but sadly not a quiff or red polka dot skirt to be seen, so I've posted a pic of that 50's throwback to set the scene.

Note the sky, the rain held off for the morning but the heavens opened in the afternoon.

Long way home.

Ashley Gorge

off Ashley Gorge road

Entered this valley from the right, there's a track to the right of the bridge that I was about to take for the river crossing but it was too deep so I chickened out, reversed and took the bridge. Pity, the track to the left of the bridge is shallower and fordable.

Lees Valley

Saturday 5 November; day trip out to the Ashley Gorge. 45 minutes from Christchurch, nestled at the base of Mount Thomas forest and set amidst beautiful bush and woodland surroundings, the Ashley Gorge is a beautiful to stop and admire the view. We'd left reasonably early and spent a morning walking up and down a stretch of the river and waded across to the other side at the foot of a steep and densely bush clad vally. This, like so many of the braided rivers in the Canterbury region, is littered with smooth pebbles (they use it for aggregate) which is a bit painful when you haven't got Kiwi feet, they have feet like hobbits from wandering around barefoot all the time. In fact the way to tell a Kiwi from an Australian is not in the accent, but to look down and see if they are barefoot or not. A pair of beach shoes goes on the shopping list.

Hungery, time for lunch. Head 8km down the road to Oxford, a small and pretty rural town 8km away. It was a scorcher, the guage read 32C, and no shade could be had in the High Street so Cafe 51 secured our business by letting Diesel join us in the garden.

Lunch over and I have a plan. 'How about we spend a few hours following that route home', not feeling it necessary to explain that its a white one therefore not surfaced or to point out it disappears off one map page and reappears on another. Vanessa agrees, so off we go to the Lees Valley road.

The gravel road climbs up, following the twists and turns of the Ashley River below. Many good photo opportunities present themselves as the road climbs through the Ashley Gorge and into the Lees Valley. After about 20km, and when Vanessa gets out to open about the 4th gate, I consult the 4wd guide. This route is listed, so I open the page only to discover the route to where it rejoins the map is actually 90km long. I didn't consider this information would benefit the gate opener so I kept it to myself. Anyway, to cut a long story short tempers began to simmer as the road continued and the surface deteriorated. When I forded the Okuku River, twice and up to the running boards, our happy snapper refused to capture the moment to share with you. Oh well, maybe next time.

We made it back in time for BBQ and fireworks at a friend house.

Avast ye skurvy dogs...

Alex loves dressing up (just like his father, tee hee).

Our neighbours Glenn and Hayley came round for a coffee with their boy Max who's nearly 5. Alex kept us amused by making grand entrances in all sorts of different costumes; a wizard (but his scars in the wrong place!), a skeleton, the Cat in the Hat and Joseph.

Mind your Language!

Well we are beginning to get to grips with the language barrier here in NZ. Here are some common new names that we have found to date:

English - Kiwi
Lolly (ice lolly) - Popsicle
Chips - Hot chips
Crisps - Chips
Sweet - Lolly
Hotdog - American dog
Greasy horrible sausage on stick - Hotdog
Swimwear - Togs
Polo neck - Skivvie
Tea break - Smoko
Garden - Section
Ice Cream - Ice block
Portion (e.g chips) - Scoop
Net Curtains - Cutains
Curtains - Drapes
Good morning - How are ya
Sorted - Good as gold
OK - Good as gold
Consider it done - Good as gold

I'm sure we'll find many more amusing examples to share with you along the way.

Multiple pile up!!

I'd had a productive day. Vanessa was at work by the time C, S & A get up, so I organise us all and we're in time to go to the park on the way to school and Diesel gets a run too. Drop them at school, and I stop by Kaiapoi Aquatic Centre and swim a mile (or 1.6 clicks here).

Morning spent clearing up, browse the paper and then into Chch to buy a lawnmower. Return with a petrol jobby as most here seem to do, plus some extra irragation system as one bit ends in an open pipe and it needs more hose and sprays to finish it off. V picks up kids and I meet them at home. Assemble lawnmower, mow lawn and get ready to suss out the irrigation pipe.

Meanwhile Alex is playing out the front with Fraser (next door) and Cameron (next door but one). I'm walking into my garage (did I mention it was a double and had an automatic door!) and see Alex on one of the kids' scooters chasing Fraser on a pushbike and being chased by Cameron on his bike. Before I'd even unwrapped my new irrigation kit I hear this almighty melee of kids screaming. I rush out of the garage and Alex is running up the driveway with blood pouring out of his forehead. I rush him indoors for V to clean him up while I check on the others (none the worse for wear, just shocked) and to find out where to take Alex to get patched up, its a bit deeper than our first aid kit can manage. We've got to go all the way into Chch, he's calmed down a bit by now so we all bundle into the truck and drive 20 minutes to the 24 hour surgery.

It seems that Fraser had braked, Alex on his scooter didn't have brakes and crashed into Fraser. Cameron then crashed into Alex. In the mayhem the scooter struck and split Alex's eyebrow and he grazed a knee. The eyebrow was the source of spilled claret and needed 5 stitches, of which Alex is very proud. He'll have a nice scar to match the one he did on his chin in Wales just before we left. According to the nice doctor Jonah Lomu used to shave the number 11 into his brow, Alex will now have a No.1 eyebrow!

School trip

Tuesday 1 November; School trip to Kairaki Beach.

I'd volunteered to help with Alex's school trip. Kairaki Beach is only down the road, perhaps 5 km from Kaiapoi. We don't normally go there unless I particularly want to drive on the beach as access at Pines Beach is nearer and there's no whitebait fishermen for Diesel to bother.

Arrive at school at 10.20am, not knowing what awaits me. I've got to lead a group around all day, including Alex, Haylem, Scott and Mikayla. There's four places to visit to see things, collect things etc; the forest, the lagoon, the beach and the dunes. Its hard work trying to not lose anyone, prevent any gouged eyes from the sticks they insist on picking up, prevent straggling or running off.

Haylem look a bit like Mickey Dolenz of the Monkees, and is a similar character. Scott is very opinionated and talkative. Mikayla seeks a bit of attention and we hold hands most of the day. Alex is Alex, and he gets the hump 'cos Mikayla gets to sit next to me on the coach. I muddled my way through the tasks, e.g. marron grass in the dunes is a dead giveaway, but I didn't know what lupins looked like? But I think I managed to blag my way with these youngters and give the impression I knew more than I did!

Anyway, I got a nice card from the kids.